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Whatever..

When you look back to the good old days, you just have this feeling where you breathe so heavy, having that little hurt feeling where you just think 'Oh how I wish'. Yeah I feel so old. I may seem over reacting but it's how I look at it. It seems like yesterday I kept nicking stickers from my classmates and now I'm almost going in to college. It seems like only yesterday I threw the big dreams I used to have. I used to have this self confidence that now I'm even afraid of my own shadow. I don't know what my problem is. I don't even know what I'm writing. Maybe I'm writing cause I want to get these nonesense thoughts out of my head. I keep wondering why I feel so lonely. I have friends, I'm okay with my mum, I'm okay with school. I don't know.. I just feel so down. I can't get this feeling out where I just wanna lie down and cry. That feeling whenever it rains I get this emptiness inside me. I guess that's why no one understands me...
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Damn Feelings

    I've changed a lot. I know it. Not others can only see it. But, I myself too. I've always wanted to be who I am today but, I don't feel the same anymore.     This is not what I wanted. I've become the person I promised not to be. All I wanted was a little freedom. I guess I didn't think of what might happen in the future. Now, all I ever do is go to some place peaceful and quiet. Then, I start crying all this nonsense out. Then, I would grab a pen and a paper. I would write all my unnecessary feelings. Stupid, unnecessary feelings.      I guess these are the things that happen to the persons who don't let their feelings be heard by the others. I never really changed. I'm still me on the inside. They just can't see it. 
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Change

        Life sucks...     I've been through a lot since I was three. I almost lost hope that my life wouldn't be so happy. I was just a nobody. Things started to change when I was five.  Until today. My life had beautiful colors. I managed to be someone special. Someone different. I've always wanted to be the person I am today but, why do I feel this way?     That was before. I started to become blind. I'm way different now. I admit. That I started to ignore everything that happens here in the world. I'm far from the girl who used to be so happy. I don't know why. I just felt like doing it. I haven't noticed it at first, until some days came that people started to treat me differently. Actually, I never really changed on the inside. I cry sometimes you know?      I used to be the smart lucky girl they admired. Sometimes, I wished to go back to the past and live there forever. Too bad, cause I can't do that. Sometim...
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Me?

                           Why Can't I be Me?                      Close friends and pals pass by,                      Saying Hello and Bye.                      I'm showing my best smile,                      While millions of tears hide.                      Embarrassment takes place,                      Bitter and Sweet I taste.                      Challenged anger to race,                      Counting to ten in case.           ...
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Bye

                           Goodbye  And Hello ...  The things that I've been used to and the things that I've been doing. Those I cannot forget. I can still remember moments I had when I was young. Laughing, crying over silly things, corny jokes with the person you used to be with. The person I used to be.  It hurts. I can never forget what happened. Everything changed. New surroundings and new friends. If I can only have one wish, I'd have him by my side. It has been a month and so. Sad and bitter tears fall every now and then. Trying to think of the first step to accept.   I've moved to a different place. Our province. I'm faraway from my home. The place where I grew up with "him".  People see me cry. Saying that I'm being dramatic, Over acting or whatever they call persons they don't understand.    I can still be happy. But not as happy as I ...
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If only...

                         If only I could... I would...             If only I knew, I could have told mama. If only he told me, we could have done something about it. If only I knew how to save him, he could have been alive by now. Looking everywhere, listening here and there, it will never be the same again without him.                It all started at 5:34 in the morning, I woke up and got out of my bedroom cause I could hear my mum panicking. When I got out, I saw papa in a very difficult situation.. He couldn't breathe properly. He walked to our dining table and stood there for awhile. He kept changing his position. What I thought was he had his asthma attack or heart attack. My mama kept changing the fan's position. Mama didn't know what to do. Papa stood up straight and said he was okay and he wanted coffee. He sat down on the chair while I...
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Summer!

                                           Summer Life   It has been a long time not writing. Summer has passed and there's school coming again. Life. Well, even if I didn't get to enjoy like the other people like going to their provinces, going to beaches or any other things to feel happy during the summer.   I had a good summer vacation. I didn't got out of the house. Well, going to the shop is excepted. And going to your neighbor's house. All I did during the summer was wake up, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, take a shower, use the computer and read in Wattpad, eat lunch, brush my teeth, wash the dishes, use the computer again, sit and watch t.v., eat my dinner, brush my teeth again and go to sleep. And that's my morning routine. Well, not really only those things but I don't have to tell you every detail of what I do in my life.    When your ...
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